In sticking with my introduction motto, I’d hate to disappoint. Procrastination hat is off. The doing hat is on. I said I’d complete 3 list items on said trip, so here’s number 2….

Nuuuumber 2!

The next list item attempt: skinny dip in public…

Ha. Yes. Skinny dip in public.

Well, I’m afraid that this firstly goes down as attempt 1. Yes, technically, unsuccessful. Let me tell you why….

We are in Denham, nice coastal town up in Shark Bay. Nice WINDY AS FUCK town up there. Is nice.We made our way out to ‘Little Lagoon’, a stones throw away. A big lagoon, through a narrow little inlet, that leads out to the ocean. A big, little, shallow lagoon.

We originally made our way here to watch the sunset. How romantic. On arrival, it’s easy to notice that there are fuck all people here. A handful. A bunch. Very few.

“Alright, come on then, let’s get naked!”

“Uuuuummmmmmmmmm really? You want to do it now?”

“Yes. Come on then!”

I’m practically naked before I’ve really had time to think about how freakin cold the wind actually is.

I make my way in to the shallows. The sand is odd and squidgy. Not nice, not unpleasant, weird.

I turn at the sound of laughter. Yes, it’s coming from the car No, it’s not at me… Luckily… There’s a guy running along the shore holding a board and a bag and he’s got a fair jog up. What the fuck? Is he coming to watch?
No. coincidence.
He was getting his car. Problem is, this water doesn’t get deep. I am a good couple hundred metres out, and the water level is not even half way up my shin. Shit! May as well turn around, he can have ass view only.

Finally, I am joined, however, all we really notice is that this lagoon doesn’t ever get deep. Ever. I can’t even sit down in this and call it skinny splashing! Fuck.

Attempt 1: fail.

I am pretty much just permanently on the look out for attempt 2 location after this! Determined to get naked and swim on this trip. Easy tick right?

Yeah, right.

Every beach becomes an opportunity. Every lake, a chance. In the end, it’s the river that succeeds!

Yes, success. 28 before thirty!

After a bit of four wheel driving, we find a secluded beach on the river in Kalbarri. A few days after attempt 1! It’s pretty exposed to boats and such, but the beach is deserted.

Travelling a few hundred kilometres south has not escaped us the wind. This is not going to be a long dip!!

That’s really about as much as needs to be said.

It was cold.

We got naked.

We went for a swim.

Easy tick.

Well, it wasn’t a very deep river, but it was certainly a hell of a lot deeper than the stupid lagoon!

I began to doubt whether this was a legit item tick to be honest. Not quite a long leisurely float in my birthday suit really. Didn’t know how technical to get on myself and all.

What was bought to my attention was….. It’s the getting naked in public part that is the really tricky part. The part that would hold a lot of people back. The swim, well, that’s just the fun additional extra.

I will be the first to admit that I have gone through a vast majority of my life with body image issues. Truth be told, I have only really learnt to truly embrace myself for 100% of what I am, inside and out, in the past year or two. It’s hard. Without going full ‘societal rant’ on you, it’s somewhat of an uphill battle for most people to truly accept themselves with the photo-shopped, you must look like this and act like this, “my life is so perfect on Facebook” bogus we see plastered all over social media and well, media, these days. So yes, getting naked is definitely the trickier aspect of the bucket list item.

Proud moment for me? It’s the getting my kit off that I found easiest! Why? I have embraced myself. I have learnt to love me, all of me, and well, if a stranger has to cop a look at my tidy boobs, so be it. I hope he (or she, no judgement) enjoyed it.

So, got a little philosophical there. Philosophical? Yeah, it happens. I am human under this utterly hilarious exterior!

Thanks very much to the Murchison river for supporting my pre-30 bucket list and well, me. And thank YOU for listening to yet another installment of McNerry jabbering.

I encourage everyone to do it. Get nekked… Why the actual fuck not? No, don’t rock up at Woolies and go all ‘skinny shopping’ on the world, there’s a time and a place. Give it a go. You might just be proud too!


That would make it 2 down, 28 to go!

28 before thirty!


It feels good to get moving with the list, that’s for sure!

Sayonara until next time folks! Xx

4 thoughts on “Schkinny

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